nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
