it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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