he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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