I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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