Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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