Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think people are normalizing furries
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
