My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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