During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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