it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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