i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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