Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
