we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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