I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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