You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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