she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
