Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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