I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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