Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
