Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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