Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
