Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
