But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
