We named our party play list daddy issues
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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