I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
