How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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