He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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