The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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