we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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