I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
