Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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