just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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