she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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