Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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