**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
