If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
