He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
