If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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