Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
