but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I AM VODKA MAN
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
