i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sext me about skeletons
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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