HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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