I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
