Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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