yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
