Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
