Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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