I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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