I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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