I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
