i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
