just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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