Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize