So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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