I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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