You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
