u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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