I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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