The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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