ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
