Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
