This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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