Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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